2 Days Out

Photo taken after a session in the cooker ( tanning bed ) this afternoon…

Two more days and I’m a free woman !!

Since the last time I posted:

My mind has relocated to another world. I have had food poisoning  (the day coach let me have pancakes ) and stupid me, ate the pancakes despite  the food poisoning. It wasn’t one of my best decisions *barfs* Just goes to show how passionate I am about sugar, carbs and pancakes.

My final thoughts..

1. This is the hardest thing I have ever ( voluntarily ) done in my life. Each day I question if doing this was a sane idea. Then reminded myself that it’s only a few months of my life – have suffered through worse shit. Onward and upward.

2. But seriously, mindfuckingly hard because I am a workaholic. Life has been non-stop panic attacks. Thoughts of “If I’m not here to man the ship, it will go down ( because it has in the past )” constantly flooded my mind. There where more times than not, that I had to rip myself away from the computer to go to the gym for a second round of hour-long cardio.. turn down Niteflirt calls etc.

The takeaway – I am too OCD and ADHD to fully maintain a business and be in prep mode. I have a one-track mind. Nothing makes me madder than to stop in the middle of a task to  shift gears.,  e.g.,  welp – it’s 5:30 pm  time to stop what I am doing and eat meal number 5, wheras normally I’d just rip open a box of Cap’n Crunch and dig into it while editing clips.  or ‘ oh it’s 10 pm lets pack up and head to the gym — meanwhile a $200 Niteflirt call  came in while the phone was in the gym locker.

Excuse my grumpiness. I’m a crab right now.. exhausted, hungry as fuck, light-headed and craving foods I don’t normally enjoy – like chocolate and Mc Donalds.

I will be updating some clips tonight and starting next week will be back to cam, Ebanned, and filming clips again. I’m thrilled.
 

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