Push a Button, Get a Banana

So you are looking at myrecent clips  and wondering ” da fuq happened to dis bish ”  .. ” where is the rest of Mz Devious.. wasn’t she like 142 lbs this time last year, why is she barely 110 lbs now?”  Heh.. and I was quite fluffy too last year.  Yes, immediately  after my return from the Olympia in early Oct I started feeling the all too familiar beginning of an auto immune flare-up. I’ve lived with this disorder since 1992, nearly lost my life a few times as a result of complications.

Back in Oct 2012,  I grew very sick , very fast and it came from nowhere. There were probably signs along the way that I should have paid better attention to. But instead, brushed aside and kept going. I’m not the best when it comes to self care. Most workaholics would say the same.  Ithink when you’ve survived the worst ailments, been on, and managed the worst sides from dangerous meds ( chemo, Biologic’s, high doses of long term prednisone, methotrexate) and the most agonizing physical pains from surgeries etc and survived, everything else thereafter is a walk in the park. The flu? Piece of cake, dislocated shoulder – meh pop it back in, tooth abscess .. Fix it with a natural cure and some Tylenol. Broke my nose? Nah it’s a little bruise. Keep going.

What started as major fatigue which I attributed to jet-lag – turned into my body rejecting food, the trembles, vertigo and a battery of less glamorous symptoms which come with having this illness. I knew shit was not looking so good when I weighed myself and dropped 15 lbs in two weeks. My concern? How am I going to make clips? Lost a total of 23 lbs – I’m the scrawninest 102 lb muscle chick, I look like a crack head. But I could barely walk to the toilet without getting winded. So, as I did as a kid, pulled up a pillow and blanket camping out on the floor outside the master bathroom.

I know it’s silly right? Can you picture little Mz Devious doing that? Me neither. Until I did it.

The doctors down here in Florida are way behind – the dark ages in comparison to the team of Manhattan doctors who’ve treated me in the past. I chanced it and visited a top Doctor in Naples. She misdiagnosed me, btw, this was also my birthday – ( 11/28) she coldly said ” it could also be cancer, looks very much like it”.. almost threw me on Biologic’s ( dangerous and Really expensive immunosuppressive infusions ). I question everything, I’m a fan of second opinions. I called my doctor up at Mount Sinai in NYC. He cried bullshit and to IGNORE what the doctor in Naples claimed. There was no way in hell I had what she claimed and I’m to get up to NYC ASAP.

It’s now Dec 15th and driving up to NYC with my 69 year old mother – who has cataracts and can’t see that great. Since I couldn’t drive, I’d say the stress of the drive shaved ten years off my life. We stay at a lovely hotel across from the time warner building and Columbus circle. They seen the state I was in, and my mom ( blapper-mouth who makes friends with everyone she meets – she’d love you guys and fix y’all some sandwiches lol ) upgraded us to the full suite during our stay.

Side note – if you should ever travel to NYC, I highly recommend the hotel, it’s called ‘6 Columbus’.

I’ll spare the long details or we’ll be here until next tuesday.  
moving along.

The doctor seen me Dec 17th at his Madi$on avenue office. I’m blessed to have insurance coverage. However, he does not accept insurance. Fantastic. Write a check for 6 G’s and was then informed Along with being sick I had severe cellulitis as a result of my body not being able to fight infection. Oh GOODY GOODY GUMDROPS.

December 19th – checked into Mount Sinai ready for tests, surgery, the works. Woke up with a port sticking outta me ” this is for the infection, that’s settled inside you”

Okayyyy, whoopiee,,what a fantastic new accessory. At that price a Hermes bag would have been much more appreciated.

Back to the hotel. Still buzzin from the anesthesia life is peachy. Painful but la la la. I go to bed. Wake up at 3 am, the bed is soaked. Wtf? I get up .. Damn did I pee myself, throw up, what is it. Head to the bathroom ..and just like you see in the Loony tunes, I as well saw stars, cosmos, tweety birds …. Then clunk. Passed out, hit my head on the marble floor.

Head injuries are also not very enjoyable. Paired with blood coming from every orifice, and a bloody port. I’m cold, and can’t get my balance. Mom panics – calls my Uncle in jersey ( who was there faster than the ambulance ) the front desk called an ambulance. Roosevelt hospital. But I needed to get to mount Sinai ( which my insurance battled over covering the $2000 bill )

I took the most expensive seven minute joyride of my life. (Don’t be jelly) Whilst upside down, fastened to a stretcher… something about dangerously low blood pressure and losing nearly 2 units of blood.
Who says I don’t know how to have a good time? All the while, I’m on my phone booking a flight on continental for Mr D.

Back at the hospital – in the ER, in Harlem .. There’s a shooting .. Lots of blood and excitement was had in the ER, PLUS I get a transfusion. The first one was in 1998, same hospital .. Same week of the year. Oh memories.

Transfusions are disgusting. If you’ve had one, you know about the metallic blood taste left in your mouth while icy cold blood of a stranger filters through your body.

I’m no longer considered an emergency because I’ve been admitted. Insurance considers an emergency in network not matter where, but once admitted it’s considered out of network.

Yayyyyy for that. Because padding the bill is how they get ya.
‘ that’s odd, I don’t recall having a penectomy OR giving birth during my stay’

It’s been 5 months since I filmed and my video archives have run dry,  I suppose my immune illness has mellowed down enough and after a long 6 month life overhaul,

So, basically after getting the equivalent of having my life round housed by chuck Norris, you guys kicked me when I was down.

( google alerts suck, and I turned my back on my biz for a few months.. my dmca service dropped me like a hot potato and didn’t alert me I was unprotected for Nov and Dec ..( well no, they raised my service fee 5 times what I was paying..) to find out my infringement reporting’s were in the high thousands range per month. and I am like .. so this is why my sales went from 5 figs a month to $500 . So I dedicated the entire month of January to fixing the messes.. still fixing the messes. I was tempted to walk away from Devious Muscle . You guys can be psycho animals. Hacking my facebook and publicly sharing all 2300 photos, of my family, my wedding, my nieces my dog..  I mean.. really , whats the need for a schmoe group that needs access to all those pics ? NO. There isn’t .

Or the guy in South America reselling my clips. Come one assholes.. I do find out eventually.. people know me.. and they find shit and send   it to me for removal ( which is funny because the person who hacked me.. and my mother’s facebook, was from south america. ) The battle with his American based web host was epic , seems they didn’t realize I’m quite familiar with  DMCA section 512 (c) .. and  so they tried to poo poo my very valid , properly drafted take down notices .  Another site had my personal photos mixed in with my “adult related” pics.. but failed to realize my cousins were in some pics ( family pics ) the site refused to comply with me, so when i went to godaddy  they poopoo;d me. So I hit them up asking for the  USC 2257’s for the 14 and 17 year old girls on their site. BOOM SHAKALAKA .. it was removed.. the entire site.   I returned to it the next day and all I received was a 404 message.  Then there was you tube. My Dec 5th impersonator. and I call it that because on Dec 5th about 13 different  profiles of me , using my pics and  clip vids.. went up on YT, dm, blogger, google plus, venus blogger, xhamster, freeones, and a few other places.  Another person was monetizing off my YT clips which is hilarious considering I’ve been banned 8 times from YT with my own content and channels.. and lost my own decent monetization  thanks to false flaggers.  Long story short, youtube is a bitch when it comes to content removal. I found 33 videos , they put me through hell for each one but the videos came down. I joined their copyright protection program as well. January was the month that awoke a sleeping GIANT.  I flipped on my proxy and joined pirate boards.. mingled with you guys .. scoured for infringements.. left some , took some..

and to date pulled down about 3000 infringements.. 349 alone from one site. it took me sleepless days and nights. and I am still not done. I’ve got the links backed up to a cloud , waiting free time to report them. If you take a photo that belongs to me, and post it without crediting me somehow(  e.g- linking it , or the very least  tagging it with my TRADE NAME Mz Devious or Devious Muscle  ) then you have NO RIGHT USING IT for your tumblr, blog, promoting your product etc.. . I own the  Copyright, which  protects every photo and video I place on the net. I’m not going to get nutty.. I mean I don’t care if you take some pics .. ( btw , when you right click and download off this site, I have your ip, country, state, and town.. logged… those logs get backed up to a cloud too.. I know where you searched for me, the keywords you used, search engine, operating system, and the exact path you took while on the site.. and I do study them every night before I go to bed… I do it for my c4s as well ) I wont even get into how I know who shares my clips… Now , if you share and don’t get caught then lucky you.. if you never file share , then I appreciate your respecting my right to make money off the ridiculous labors I put into producing it . For instance. it’s now 7 am.. I’ve been here working since noon . I ate once at 5 pm.. napped from 6-7 and  couldn’t fathom leaving to hit up the gym without a daily motion promo, 2 blog entries , and 2 clips up and work on my new site ( did not get to that ) ……. so as simple as this c4s stuff may seem to you fellas .. it’s not.

A ” regular job” would be much , much easier. Push a button, get a banana, push a button, get a banana. So simple, you get up, you push that button from 9-5 at the end of the week.. you get that banana. Try doing this.. others push your buttons, the internet never sleeps.. and some weeks.. you don’t get your banana you earned  because others assumed you wouldn’t notice 1 little missing banana. However, when the whole bunch of banana’s is taken and shared amongst all the other monkeys , I’m left cleaning up the peels, and a few bruised nana’s left on the ground after the stampede of wild , hungry freebie hunting banana seekers ransacked my humble little banana stand that I put my everything into. Now ask yourself this ..  would you want to return to selling banana’s when all the monkeys get your same banana’s free across the street, because when you sleep at night,   a certain money discovered a way to steal your nana’s . In fact, he opened a membership clup called ” the karma banana club” .. and his business plan goes like this ; help me to line my pockets with your membership dollars  and  share the stolen banana’s  with the other primates  who belong to this ” banana membership club”..  and together we get to enjoy free banana’s  in our little club, while the guy who pays rent for his stand  and picks those bananas himself loses out , while we all sit back ( well no, only the KING KARMA gets rich off the membership sales from his little peon  members who keep him rich and full )  Does that make sense? That was how I explained it to someone and they said it made total sense.

So , that’s where I’ve been, and yes I am still not 100% yet, but  I am not dead either , which means I’m back on the horse, and I want what is mine for the taking.

it’s on.

Hate me…. hate me,  until you realize the hate has taken you no where…. the problem isn’t that I’m better , or prettier.. or whatever. looks have nothing to do with  this biz, and without photoshop we’d all be in trouble..  The untold truth about this scene ( including  the princess brat girl scene ) is that those who rise.. BUST THEIR FUCKING ASSES  to make it seem so simple.

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