2 Days Out
Posted by D in / September 1, 2011
Photo taken after a session in the cooker ( tanning bed ) this afternoon…
Two more days and I’m a free woman !!
Since the last time I posted:
My mind has relocated to another world. I have had food poisoning (the day coach let me have pancakes ) and stupid me, ate the pancakes despite the food poisoning. It wasn’t one of my best decisions *barfs* Just goes to show how passionate I am about sugar, carbs and pancakes.
My final thoughts..
1. This is the hardest thing I have ever ( voluntarily ) done in my life. Each day I question if doing this was a sane idea. Then reminded myself that it’s only a few months of my life – have suffered through worse shit. Onward and upward.
2. But seriously, mindfuckingly hard because I am a workaholic. Life has been non-stop panic attacks. Thoughts of “If I’m not here to man the ship, it will go down ( because it has in the past )” constantly flooded my mind. There where more times than not, that I had to rip myself away from the computer to go to the gym for a second round of hour-long cardio.. turn down Niteflirt calls etc.
The takeaway – I am too OCD and ADHD to fully maintain a business and be in prep mode. I have a one-track mind. Nothing makes me madder than to stop in the middle of a task to shift gears., e.g., welp – it’s 5:30 pm time to stop what I am doing and eat meal number 5, wheras normally I’d just rip open a box of Cap’n Crunch and dig into it while editing clips. or ‘ oh it’s 10 pm lets pack up and head to the gym — meanwhile a $200 Niteflirt call came in while the phone was in the gym locker.
Excuse my grumpiness. I’m a crab right now.. exhausted, hungry as fuck, light-headed and craving foods I don’t normally enjoy – like chocolate and Mc Donalds.
I will be updating some clips tonight and starting next week will be back to cam, Ebanned, and filming clips again. I’m thrilled.